We’ve always said Crunch clients are the best group of people a company could hope to have subscribing to their service. You guys are engaging, often hilarious and always creative.

Today we received yet more proof to support our theory. While investigating a 2p discrepancy between the amount he invoiced and the amount he received from a client, expert photo retoucher Bill Greenwood penned the following Shakespearian missive to his account manager Richard.

 

2p, or not 2p, that is the question:

Whether ’tis nobler for the business to suffer

The loss of income from this small fortune,

Or to use charms to claim back these tiny roubles I’m owed, or am I?

 

Or to save face? — To not call, but to credit, —

Good client; And give-away sheckles do I

Then suffer the heart-ache, of accounting disagreement

That rounding does bring — misreckoning,

 

Devoutly, piously, I wish’d for tidy sums; —

Such sums, perchance to dream: — ay, there’s the rub;

For in rounding errors does make my balances suffer,

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, they will still live on,

 

For when a detailed invoice line does round up indeed,

To equate with VAT a total of a penny or more a line,

This does kilter my books: — a problem have now I,

Whereas broken-down by day a weeks work is 2p more,

 

Must now us pause: there’s the respect

That makes calamity of so long life;

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,

The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,

The pangs of rounding issues, the law’s we obey,

 

So when paid 2p less for an invoice the system makes,

When rounding up adds tuppence to the gross,

Do I swallow the patrons correct total addition and credit two,

Or chastise the fair customer for copper coins twofold,

 

The insolence of accursed rounding, and the spurns it brings,

That merit of the worthy earner it faults,

When I myself might want to have impeccable accounts,

To issue a 2p credit I would take this blow,

 

Thus measure for measure, do I write off this 2p discrepancy,

Save a comedy of errors if a messenger to client is needful,

Is it true and legal for me to balance books this way,

Do tell me, as I would like all to end well in my accounting hamlet.

 

(Published with kind permission from Mr. Greenwood)