Greetings, comrade! Such sweat pours from your forehead as the heat of the capitalist machine lays heavy upon you! Do you wish to escape the toil inflicted on you by the corporate 9-5 prison but fear descending in society and becoming a member of the lumpenproletariat? Fear not, brother, there is another way to take control of your destiny. Become a freelancer!
The capitalist system we are born into is based on the exploitation of all those underneath the bourgeoise. Companies not only horde profits for themselves over paying their workers decent wages but also control the lives and of their employees to maintain the status quo. Break free of your chains and take your time and work into your own hands!
As a freelancer you’re given a lot more freedom in how you work. In a regular job you have little say in the clients your company hires. So what happens when you’re assigned to a project working for evil capitalist multi-national conglomerates abusing the third world? Well, you just have to get on with it, complain about it to your co-workers and maybe put a Che Guevara poster up to make a point.
If you’re freelancing you can pick your own jobs and who you work for. This means you can be sure you don’t betray any of your own morals. It might mean that work is a bit harder to find, as you reject clients based on their links to Sodastream or their use of sweatshops, but at least you’ll be able to plan the overthrow of the bourgeoisie and their puppets with a clear conscience.
As a freelancer you are also able to remove yourself from the socially-engineered norms enforced through capitalist structures. The arbitrary need for strict regular workday hours and breaks, individuality-destroying uniforms of drab grey material, and needless workplace rules all work to crush your revolutionary spirit, comrade. The aim is to turn you into a drone capable of only producing wealth for the upper class making no choices of your own.
Working for yourself means you take back control of your time and spending it how you want. A client’s deadline is all you have to worry about, so you can work whenever you prefer and wherever you prefer. This means you can smash capitalism, and do it in your favourite vegan cafe /anarchist bookshop collective at the same time.
Consider also Karl Marx. He must have been a freelancer. No company would allow a man to keep such a beard in the office. You too can grow a beard like your communist heroes. Feel free to experiment, there are many fine choices ranging from the classic Leon Trotsky to the more modern and Santa-esque David Harvey. All rules about uniforms no longer apply to you. You have reclaimed your individuality from the capitalist clutches of your ex-superiors.
Of course, you might point out that by becoming a freelancer you have not removed yourself from the capitalist system and have merely become a different cog in the same machine. That might be true, but if Slavoj Zizek can drink Coca-Cola and Frederick Engels could join the Prussian Army, it’s probably fine.
So, free yourself at once and take back your life. Freelancers of the world, unite!
Use our Take-Home Pay Calculator to work out your true earnings and see if you could save money with a different company set up.
We make accounting simple
With Crunch, you’ll have unlimited advice and support from your dedicated client manager and our team of accountants, alongside innovative online accounting software so you can keep on top of your bookkeeping with ease. No appointments, no fuss.