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An Ode to Self Assessment

As the 2015 Self Assessment deadline approaches, freelancers up and down the country are at their wits’ end.


To sooth aching minds, we’re turning to prose.


Pour yourself a coffee and relax for a bit. Then close this browser tab and, for goodness’ sake, get filing.


poetry


‘Twas the last day of January and all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse,

I should have been tucked up all cosy in bed,

Instead I was thinking “I’d rather be dead”.



All crashing off caffeine and dark with dismay,

My Self Assessment was due the next day,

Go Word, go Excel, and go, balance sheet,

I never again want to see a receipt.



I promised that this year I’d do it on time,

But once more I sit in my own guilt and grime,

Adding, subtracting and barely awake,

Knowing that one hundred quid is at stake.



O powerful tax man please spare me this plight,

I swear all my profits are clear and in sight,

I honestly haven’t been taking the piss,

The only thing I’ve been avoiding is this.


Image by Alex Eflon

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